Nice underwear! Now drop 'em and bark like a chicken!

Ok, so it's come to light that my thought processes are a little... Eeerrr erratic... But, I do have ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and I'm naturally unhinged, not to mention being genetically pre-dispositioned to occasionally thinking I'm a chicken.. BERGUUUUUURK... Anyway so as you can image I hop from from vacuum cleaning to penis pasta in a few short milliseconds! I often get asked how the fuck I end up at whatever fucked up conclusion I end up ending up at... What? Hahaha... Hmmmm... *Weird silence* Anyway... I made a mind map! 

Unfortunately when I've gone to put it on my blog it's too fucking small to read but, FEAR NOT! I'll walk you through it! I was watching TV and an ad for American Idol came on. Jennifer Lopez was 'performing' and something, quite literally jumped out of the screen and slapped my pretty little face! She had some serious MC Hammer, circa 1990-1992, crotch drape going on! It honestly looked like she was smuggling a small child in there! Then I remembered she's married to that Hispanic rat looking mother fucker, Mark Anthony and I concluded that he was about the same size of a small child and it was most likely him bunking in her squirrel covers! 

This whole traumatic experience started a chain reaction of electrical reactions in my squishy area.... GREY SQUISHY!!! Not pink squishy... Wait! What? Ok rewind! Electrical reaction in my brain... I looked at J. Lo's pants and thought "is she trying to revive the whole 90's, happy pants, yes my penis is that big I require the extra room, MC Hammer up in ya ho spanner" trend? Then I thought about good old MC Hammer (Hahaha McHammer) and I wondered what the fuck he was thinking when he put that shit on and was like "fuck yeah, I dig it!" This made me think about bad fashion in general, which then (naturally) lead to funny undies, funny undies lead to tits (of course), which lead to people getting arrested with their tits out. This then turned into mugshots. Mugshots equaled bad hair... So there! Hurts ya head doesn't it? And to think that THAT was the simplified version!

My brain> Me watching TV and seeing J Lo's gruesome gaping groin> MC Hammer> Bad fashion> Funny underwear> Tits> Mug shots> Bad hair = My blog!!!

Call them whatever you want... She looks like she's done a huge dump in her shiny diaper!
Looking at this picture of MC Hammer, I'm glad he went broke... For his own safety and for ours!

Hahahaha! Nunnery Couture- The Paedophile's Collection!

... I think that women's skirt is coming onto me!?

What the fuck and why! Asians! I love them!!! PS I'm taking the Nan on the left! Fuck yes!!!

The model on the left is thinking "why didn't I take the god damn Nip bra job!?"

Aaahahaha! Sorry! 

Ok so what's going on here? Top left is the delightful range of... I'm gunna call them Flange Panties! Why? I don't fucking know! I think they're for weird men who like fugly vagina's!
The bottom left pic- Ummm Airbags?
The pic on the right- Is it just me or does that look like a HUGE pair of pink balls!? Or possibly a vagina with VERY swollen flaps!?

These are mug shots!!! It's bitches like these that seriously make me wanna go down... Down... Down to Pussy Town!!! FUCKING NOT!!! 

Arrrr... Yeah?

I think it's a women?

Aaaahahaha! I want the Dolly Parton!

Do these fuckers own a mirror?

Spock is not impressed! Ha!

Wow! Did you know you can wear your hair as hat!? Well ya do now!

So there you have it! From J. Lo to hat fro... Hahaha! That rhymes! There's my thoughts in pictures and all lubed up and bloggerised! 

 On that note... Until next time...


Love ya guts!!! Love, Jen xoxo

Oh and one last thing.......

AAAAHAHAHAHA!!! The one is the middle looks like a bum!