Saturday 26 March 2011

You can't run away from your own feet!!!

Fuck I gotta pee! Ok! I'm back! In case you're wondering... Yes I really just went to pee, it wasn't just some weird way to start my blog! So! How are we? Plans for the weekend etc? Yeah I don't wanna hear about "you people" with your "lives"! Bastards! Hahaha!  I have started this entry with really no idea what it's going to be about... Except for one thing!!! What is it, I hear you ask as you quiver with bated breath! Yeah yeah I'm getting there! Fuck! So what do I want to share with you- my darlings, my fabulous readers, my loyal and highly sexually charged bitches?!? This is actually about a friend... So if I seem like I'm having a rant... Well you're right on the fucking money! I am sick of insecure, impotent little man child types taking out decades of repressed homosexual tendencies and insecurities on my beautiful friends!


In light of the above I wanna talk about: FUCK HEADS!!! Also known as morons, dick wads, mother fuckers, moles, cock stains, morons, goat fuckers, cunts, gay holes, fuck-tards, sluts, pricks, dildo smackers, Tony's, dumb asses, ball gazers, butt sluts, cock knockers, pirate hookers, butt sluts, trollops, big crusty pus filled hairy dogs cock... Ok so we get what I'm talking about yeah? Now fuck heads, unfortunately ARE not a rare breed! In fact fuck heads seem to be procreating at an alarming rate!!! This why I'm PRO chemical sterilization- but that's another issue all together! Thankfully I LOVE FUCK HEADS!!! I live for them!!! Not only to I enjoy their antics and their misguided bullshit theories but I love watching as the psycho's come apart at the seams. It's so very rare, nowadays that you get to really touch someones life and leave a permanent mark! See, now this is where i come in! I am the permanent mark! I am the life lesson! I am the teacher, the school, the Principal, the god dam board of education and supreme authority on dealing with cunts like you! Don't let the fact that I'm cute fool you! I've got whoop ass stock piled!!! STOCK PILE-ED! And don't think this is a short term plan! I've got dick heads from 92 who I'm still plotting against!!! It's call a long term investment and guess what baby!?! Your stock just went up!!!


Now the thing about this is that for me to really be effective when dealing with said fuck heads I really need to be 'involved'. I need to give a shit about who the fuck head is inflicting there fuck head-ed-ness upon! Another less important issue is that it's nice (although not necessary) to receive feedback from either the fuck head them selves or an associated party- 3rd party fuck head feedback is always great! Unfortunately, I usually do my job so well that the fuck head and all fuck head associated parties are never to be heard from again! However OCCASIONALLY I am lucky enough to get confirmation or at least an insight in to the damage I caused... And very rarely I get to do damage with absolutely NO effort WHAT-SO-EVER! Score! For example: If you are going to hack someones email &/or FB accounts you may not like what you read... Especially if I wrote it! Now to some people having someone they don't know, slag them off so accurately may not mean much. But to this twinky dick who is insanely insecure, paranoid and jealous it does. If you are so concerned about how other people see you, then maybe you should consider either just being a good person... Not guna happen or STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE A SOUL!!!! If you happen to be reading this, my deluded little bullshit excuse of a 'man' I just want to re-assure you that I know your type. I've dealt with cunt's like you before and I am just praying that you fuck up... Just once more... PLEASE! Coz I can not wait until I get to show you that behind my bluff and bullshit (which really isn't bluff and bullshit at all, unlike the shit that you come up with) is me with a blow torch and a pick axe waiting to nail your tiny cock to a wall. Realise you've lost... everything. Realise you never really had anything in the first place. Realise this is a battle you are never going to win and continue your pathetic excuse of an existence else where! We are all bored of your domineering, threatening, pathetic, sad, narcissistic bullshit!!!


Ok so I feel much better now! Hahahah fucking hell! Talk about having a chemical imbalance! I was going to talk about some shit that happened with my auntie this week but people are seriously going to doubt my mental stability if I keep arguing with people! I'm an electro magnet for clinically insane nipple tweakers and socially repugnant window licking cocks within a 3000km square radius! It's not me it's them!!! Ahahaha! Ok so maybe it's a little bit me... What can I say... I'm on a fucking roll!


Now time to really lighten the mood coz I need a giggle! Actually, just quickly while remember... I was standing in the kitchen the other day and you know when you have a total mental blank right in the middle of doing something? Yeah, well I had one of those. So I'm standing there with my hand on my hip, thinking about what I couldn't remember or what I forgot to remember or some shit and Isabelle bursts out laughing and says "oh, Mummy that was the funniest joke in the whole wide world" I was like "huh!?" Then she said "you look like a little teapot" and she started singing "I'm a little teapot, short and stout!" Hahaha. Nutter! So now for some completely stupid shit that'll hopefully make you laugh!








Until next time my greasy little nipple tweaking spastic slappers! I LOVE YA FUCKING GUTS!!!!


Love, Jen xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Alysha- best one yet jen, I enjoyed this one more then the others.
    Your like a bunny with a machete, I know I should run but it's just too goddamn cute!!
    It's a very rare talent to be so threatening but so bloody loveable at the same time, if I was wearing a hat I would take it off :D
    P.s I know what a shara is but who the fuck is Tony?

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