I need 500cc's of Liquid Ass STAT!!!

Donate! My pretties! Eeehehehehehe!!!

Yes! That cute little button on the right!!!

Recently, and I mean in the last 3 days I've had people come to me either seeking advice on how to fuck with someone (as in for revenge not for sex tips? - although I do get a lot of those sort of questions too) or I've been made of aware of certain facts that have lead me to ponder... How am I guna get this cunt! I'm not a bitter person. In fact, in my life I have forgiven people who, in all honesty didn't fucking deserve the words 'you're forgiven' let alone the act of me actually forgiving them... So when it turns out that they weren't really sorry and they've fucked me over... Yet again, an 
example has to be made of them as well a BOLD point of DON'T FUCK WITH ME, MOLE!!! The universe wants it that way... Trust me I spoke to the universe and me and ... It? Are all good! Don't judge me... I'm guna blame it on having no mother. Which reminds me! I owe that cunt a bit of 'what for' too! Hahaha. Joking. My beef isn't with her... It's with... Well, everyone else. Now usually I'm full of spiteful fucked up ideas but, lately I dunno if it's old age or maybe even (god forbid) maturity kicking in but I'm seriously fucking lacking my evil spark...

The first 2 morons... Shit where do I start... He's a fucking delusional cock eyed doofus and she's a butt slut who is a sponge that mooches off everyone around her until she's tapped out every excuse and resource then she moves onto her next victim (anymore detail than that and I will be here on a decade long rant!)... 

THESE are the kind of morons I'm dealing with!

I have personal issues with both of these fuck heads. Both posed as my friends and were, in reality, anything but. Now these 2 were together, then they separated (for years) and now they're back together. How does this effect me? Well it's hard to explain without going through years worth of bullshit & history painfully endured on my part. But these 2 dick heads really aren't worthy of any kind of happiness... Especially considering the HOURS of free therapy they both got out of me, pissing and moaning about each other! It's just so fucking irritating!

Now this is a real angel/ devil on my shoulders situation for me. Because I've got Ghetto Jenna just wanting to rip that fat little fucking moles fucked up pasty face right the off and destroy every ounce of her pathetic being, while of course dancing around her burning fat little ass and laughing 'you don't deserve to be happy ya feral cunt!' But then I've got angel Jenna (ok, that's a stretch... Maybe... Less evil Jenna?) just sitting there... Smoking a bong like 'hey dude, the universe has your back! You're a righteous mother fucker and you need not lift a finger!' In other words let them be... It wont last. If they had issues 4 years ago when they broke up I highly doubt after 4 years worth of history (including drugs, cock, anal sex with randoms {that's her... and maybe him?} her being committed to a psych ward- twice, both of them getting fired from numerous jobs, having to live with mummy and daddy not to mention criminal charges being laid in relation to drug manufacturing...) that shits guna work out better this time. I really just feel like this will end badly and as much as I'd love to be the reason for it or the driving force behind it... It'll happen with or without me...

Now the next fucker, I don't actually know him personally. But lets just say my girlfriend 'Meg' has an ex who is... Well, putting it nicely, Lord of the cunt fly's! And like a big blue ass fly he has little maggots we'll call minions... So I came up with a few random generic revenge ideas before once again hitting a brick wall (not due to lack of enthusiasm but more so due to lack of vital personal information on lord cunt fly that would nudge me in a more fruitful direction) so I decided, I'd turn to ye old faithful... Google! So I typed in revenge...


There's some sites I knew of like www.revengelady.com and www.revengeguy.com Although they're mostly for shits and giggles. These sites are like mild giggle therapy mixed with some lame 'I could do that!' kind of ideas! www.thepayback.com caught my eye with some revenge products for sale with catchy names like 'liquid ass' and 'r/c fart machine'... Which are hilarious but really only useful for high school pranks... We need a little more than 'did you do fluffy? You naughty boy!' in this situation... Then there's other shit like anonymous emails or letters these websites will send on your behalf... Which really, I could do myself. But these sites do have stories of revenge which can get your vengeful juices flowing... Which is maybe how they get this 'Liquid Ass' they're selling!? But the best and definitely most appropriate site I found was www.getrevengeonyourex.com 

Liquid Ass!!!

Stab him in the DICK!!!

The site was started by a dude whose wife cheated on him... So it's horrible, nasty, empathetic and most of all useful! They also boast that 'Everything we do for you is anonymous, untraceable and 100% legal.' which is nice?!? They offer such services as anonymous faxes, emails and texts saying... Whatever you like- these are timed so you can have an alibi, a web page dedicated to your ex, gifts- including gift wrapped dog 'shit', a 'used' condom, soiled undies and my personal favourite a small container of piss with a card attached saying 'no one here would piss on you if you were on fire so you might want to keep this handy!' They also have voodoo dolls if you're into the outlandish supernatural approach. You can become a member for free which gives you access to their revenge forum where you can exchange stories and get ideas from other members. My only suggestion is skip the middle man and the fake dog shit. Crap in a gift box yourself... It's called therapy... Spaghetti blog styles! 

The home leg of my journey was inspired by the whole voodoo doll idea from above. There are spells available on eBay. There's ones like 'win back your true love', 'win money', 'find love' etc etc but then there's some rippers like 'drive them insane' which has a picture of a mental patient?!?, 'break them up' couple splitting spells and 'revenge' spells... I was actually surprised when I first stumbled across these because I thought it was a bit whacked out and had the potential to attract nutters and just put unnecessary and unwarranted negative energy out into the universe (sorry, that's the hippy in me talking). However these 'witches' offer personalized spells, which I'm sure can entail some sort of nasty voodoo incantation for anal warts or permanent erectile dysfunction... If the situation calls for it! Awww sad penis!


I like the idea of spells and voodoo dolls because it gives you some personal satisfaction that you're sticking it to the other person and that you're not helpless... (which most times you are!) It's really therapeutic and the best revenge, really is moving on... In some cases however moving on can't be achieved until the little fucker causing you grief has suffered and is too terrified to continue their bullshit. In those cases I recommend sitting down and having a good think. What do you know about them? Knowledge is power and the more you know the easier it is to fuck someone over. Do they own a business? Call the tax man... Anonymously and repeatedly. Do they worry about what others think? Send out flyer's telling people 'beware of this shit stain!' Report their car stolen. Pour paint thinner on their car. You get my drift?!?




Until next time... Happy plotting!


Love ya guts, Love Jen xoxo