Oh God, HELP! Elton is Chasing Me!!!

So I'm telling Todd about my blog! "I'm going to be bigger than Perez Hilton!" I tell him! I then go on to say... Except not fat or gay... Ok maybe not gay... although we do both like cock!?! Then I laughed at my own joke... As I often do! It was obvious by the expression on Todd's face that he had NO fucking idea what I was on about! But that's nothing new!!!


This one's for the boys: I wanna know a) How many movies Steven Segal has been in? and b) How many arms hes broken in each movie? 
That dude has issues! 
It's as if the internationally accepted Steven Segal greeting is snapping your arm! I know he's a crazy white dude who runs like he crapped his dacks and Elton John is chasing him, but I need some stats on this arm fetish he has going on! You know what really gets his dick hard though? Seeing two girls break each others arms!


Stupid people shit me! Gutless fuckers also piss me off! Put the 2 together and add to that, that you happen to be my family - forget about it!!! What the fuck are you on about, Jenna? I'm fucking getting there! Fark!!! Now there's like 75 years + worth of history here but most of it's pretty irrelevant. I'm going to stick to the basic issues. Now pay attention coz I'm going to screw with your mind!!! Mwahahaha! *Silence* it's ok, I'm fine!!!
I'll keep this short and sweet. My Nan's been treated badly by the family for way too long. My nans Neice, Stacey rang and abused my Nan under the pretence of passing on her condolences to my Nan for Nan's sister dying. This kind of shit has been going on for entirely too fucking long! It's all bullshit and I'm fucking over it! There's no point calling the gutless fuckers because they would just hang up... But I'm gunna sort this fucking shit once and for all!!!
So I think about this for a good couple of days... Then I remember good old Stacey added me on Facebook months ago! Fuck hey! Shit just got interesting! Now, even though I want to tell this peice of shit that I'm going scratch out her fucking eyes and take a dump in her skull if I hear she contacts my grandmother ever fucking again... I wont! This side of the family is loaded! My Nan's boys and their kids are just poor uneducated trash! (They may actually be on to something there! Hahaha!) So I'm not playing into that shit. I decide I'm going to write Stacey a letter... and post it on FB... on her wall!!! Ahahaha! Below is a copy of said letter... Enjoy! 


 





It didn't take long at all for all hell to break loose. One cousin messaged me crapping on about some shit. But he's a window licker from way back so who fucking cares! I deleted all that side of the family off fb. Stacey's niece, Kiah (my second cousin?) then messgaed me. Below is that correspondence...



Kiah's message to me:

Wow...
Never expected to be deleted. 
I don't know where you get off publicly abusing Alan and Stacey, Jenna. Stacey is one of the nicest people I know and doesn't deserve the hurtful things you said about her and Facebook is certainly not the medium to be posting such unwarranted things about people. Its obvious that Balga did you no favours.




My (FANTASTIC) reply:


You being deleted was nothing personal, you've served your purpose of passing on everything I wanted that pathetic bunch of morons to know so you are no longer required. For this I thank you, good job! Five gold stars!

Also prior to all this I got really sick of everything I say on fb (mostly for entertainment value) getting back to ignorant people I cant stand and then being accused of being a junkie and whatever else.
Just because I have the guts to voice my opinon, (and more recently) reply to being slagged off doesnt mean I'm high. I dont need excuses or drugs to tell it the way it is. 

Also I've never lived in Balga so if you're going to try and offend me do a little research. 

If stacey is one of the nicest people you know I suggest you get out and meet more people because she is a disgusting advantageous, hooked nose ding pig. If she cant handle what I have to say then she should have shut her mouth and not abused my nan in the first place. She also had a go at your uncle at your own grandmothers funeral... Yeah shes all class!

I absolutly agree fb is not the medium to voice certain opinions nor is it appropriate but i also believe ringing an 80 year old woman and reducing her to tears with lies and bullshit isnt exactly an outstanding display of whats appropriate. Stacey set the rules, I merely played the game. Now she has lost, chucked a tanty and taken her bat and ball and gone crying to anyone stupid enough to listen. Stacey is a typical neurotic hateful greek slag, they love the drama! This shit will keep her going for years so really she should thank me.

The fact my post has gotten around the entire family and upset her so much fills me with much joy and a great sense of accomplishment. SHE rang MY nan with the intent of giving her a serve, but yet I return the favour and all hell breaks loose... If she cant take it she should shut her hole and she would have saved herself alot of grief.

I cant believe you're all so stupid as to inform me of just how much I affected Stacey. Poor little Stacey is so upset.... Baaaaaahahahahahaha. Thats gold, absolute poetry and beyond fantastic. Goal accomplished. She upset my nan I upset her, now we're square. That was my intention! All you've done is let me know how brilliantly I acheived my goal. I am elated and over joyed at causing such a shit storm... One which I would have never known about if any of you had half a brain and shut up and let me just think my post didnt bother her... 

Oh and next time youre defending someone ie Allan, you might wanna spell they're name correctly... It just adds a little credibility to your incredibly inaccurate bullshit... Obviously they didnt teach you that at Penrhos. 

Great talking with you.

Much love to you and the family.


Love jen xoxo :)

So there you have it kiddies! Just one of the many stories from my vault: family fucktards gone wild!  

In case you're wondering neither my nan or myself have heard from these douchers since the above correspondence!


Ok so dirty laundry aired... Next subject! I saw THE biggest ant crawing up wall! I though it was a deformed cricket! It was fucking HUGE! Todd pointed it out to me. I said wtf is that!? He said "an ant"... Once my eyes focused I could see he was right! It wasnt just an ant it was a GI-AnT -  see what i did there! Hahaha. Anyway so im looking at this ant thinking he must be able to bench at least 120/ 130 kilos easy when suddenly the ant turns, looks me dead in the eye and says 'hey baby! How bout you fix me some sandwiches! At that point my fascination ended and I dealt with him the way I dealt with the last fucker who suggested I make them food... I beat him to death with my shoe! 

Time to go now! I have a massive knot under my right shoudler blade and it's fucking killing me!!! It's gotta be the size of my head! And god knows I've got a big fuckin head! Hahaha. I need one of them Swedish hard dick de-knotting's!

Until next time my faithful little fuckers! Love ya guts!!! Love, Jen xoxo